Flummoxed. Why do good girls come last?

That’s what my girlfriend asked me and I thought what a fitting question for a fiction sequel.

She is smart. Did everything that she was supposed to. Worked hard and juggled… have you guessed correctly that the conversation was around securing meaningful relationships? Well, this personal soul searching that took place promised something greater for me outside of the dialogue had: Why do we as women put ourselves last? or Why are we not good to ourselves first? is my inverted comma subject.

The beauty of these subjective questions is that we can talk and talk about them and around them but the sum of it all is that we have to choose to give to ourselves, recognising that it is okay and guilt free to do so.

Here are some ‘goods’ that can easily spring into action for women:

  • Note to self-journaling. There is no one else like you and there will never be anyone else exactly like you. Forget about peer pressure, self-pressure is the worst. The best way to let off steam is to apply personal forgiveness and concentrate on your value for the “real failure is not to try” and accept who you really are. Your writings can be reviewed for self-reflection and act as a tracker of growth developing your internal Dialogue. As a person speaks so they are is a proverb banded around yet equally so as you think is how you write. A reversed mindset and verbosity should be a common, unconscious assumption.
  • We are tapped into the needs and wants of others. What about taking time out and explore what your needs and wants are. Take time out to remind yourself of your purpose here in this world. Perhaps a dedicated I-love-myself day once a month, technology detox week or meditation may be the way forward. Unplug* and invest time, effort, and money on your health and wellbeing as it absolutely valuable.
  • Have you ever sat at a table and a guy sitting next to you is encroaching your space or speaking to an aspect of your anatomy that is not your face? Have you been overlooked for a position because you have had maternity leave or simply because there is not a gender fit? Be upfront and say what you will or will not tolerate. Call out what is inappropriate and what is expected instead. #EachforEqual #IWD2020

Just for the record these goods may be a girl’s last chance. Hope you are enlightened. Why do good girls come last? Answer: The last will be first and the first last – Dutch Proverb.

Article By:

Shanda Reid
Advisor – Learning & Organisational Development, West Midlands Employers

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